Crew/Zen on a Highway of Infinite Possibility

Beautiful Sentiment

“Scattered and shattered, and I’m spinning in a whirlpool, feeling like a fool again.

Feeling light come in like an ocean, energetic commotion, keep me going with locomotion, move your body on the dance floor heat, let your feet freak up in the streets for melodies, coming through light frequencies and I’m seeing these beautiful loving things, happening in front of me, presently, I keep going with the melody, melody, melody, its all in haromony… (Repeat)”

-Beach Music-
Song by, Matt VoLuMe. 
To be released soon…

Moving through emotions is a beautiful process with music; I get to get quiet with my feelings, letting them flow through me like a stream, rather than hanging on with a death grip, vulnerably expressing who I am, exactly as I am, now. I envision my pain scattered and shattered spinning in a whirlpool, and then visualize light coming through me as I take action to create joy in my existence, practicing gratitude and recognizing this universe of beauty, only to be viewed perceptually in the here and now. Appreciating the perfect flow of existence, accepting everything as it is, breathing in deeply and relaxing, freely floating in a stream of inner peace, knowing all the happiness I seek is inside of me.

I am incredibly grateful to feel with a whole heart today. I have a beautiful baby daughter and she has a great dad who loves her more than anything in the world. I have a whole bunch of beautiful friends, walking with me on this journey.

I am exploring and adoring each moment, ready for adventure again, smiling with the sunshine because this little light of mine is shining so bright with a love for life. The strife floats away with the sight of dawn, warming my heart with a swarm of glorious forms of kindness when pain brings blindness. I hope you find that little light bright insight in the night, if focused on only grows strong, and we recognize, it’s something you’ve had all along. If you’re mean to me, let me show you something; I’ll show you love, I’ll heal it with kindness because hate baffles the mind state with fight or flight static debates demonstrating fear based actions attracting typically cyclical patterns of thought, resulting in obsessing about a distraught onslaught of things, reacting with poorly learned behaviors causing waves in a stormy way, turning the perception into a smoke filled haze, until we illuminate, rejuvenate, and expand our heart to be open to serve a purpose that goes beyond words. Let’s try to listen with intuition for the gifts we’re given, letting a shift occur in existence, empathetically seek to be of service, paying attention to someone else’s needs while remaining completely happy is a gift indeed, but not easy to achieve. It takes work, work, work, embodying a way of living that comforts and promotes a safe space for you to feel what you face without the overwhelming weight because you know, you are never alone. We are always interconnected electromagnetically, subatomically together, allowing us tranquility in knowing we can create a sense of joy, because the divisive disconnection painted in the consciousness from hurt, is an illusion seeking to recreate misery to infinity and beyond, until we surrender to the splendor of our feelings and allow the healing in. 
Thank you life for all the lessons. I’m glad to be here and find my grins again, enjoying this wondrous bliss of Now.

Life is truly beautiful.

Matt VoLuMe Poetry

Grateful on July 6th, 2019

“Heart weighing heavy, when fears broke the levies choking the flow to the freedom of my soul, light took ahold channeling through me like a highway of gold light frequencies, instantly stilling the storm and clearing the forms of confusion and mental pollution, grieving the thieving nature of a walled off conscious, debating the nonsense to separate the painful distaste and begin letting it float away with grace into infinite space, reframing the way it transforms our ways every day. 
Learn to play and throw the fears away, sway with the way the bass plays, drums moving, grooving, and attuning your mind as a prism for light instead of savage insights putting up walls in life, turn the way we walk into a beautiful plight to bring some light into life, as joy thrives and love takes the wheel to drive us to a place of fulfillment in stillness, asking in the present, do you feel this? This bliss, its created in an instant, surrounded completely in space time by this little light of mine, encompassing drowning hearts in safety, saying its ok, I won’t be leaving; I’m always holding you in my electromagnetic arms so you can disarm the funny farm trying to keep you safe from harm.

By the way can I get that pizza with extra parm…

Mic Drop… “

Free written poem,

By: Matt VoLuMe.

Thanks for reading everyone.

I hope you get something beautiful from the artistic expressions I put up here!

Don’t forget to comment and share the love!

Open post

A Window into my Soul

Matt VoLuMe here, 

I am going to start out by sharing with you all about how music has impacted my life and changed it for the better. I remember falling in love with the band Sublime with their hit “Lovin’s what I got” on the radio (https://youtu.be/jjxXhxcIbG0); I made a mix tape with that song and a few others when I was eight years old. I loved music right from the start, it made everything better and made me wanna get out and interact with the world. I was so excited to learn more about how these people did this stuff. I would sing all of the Sublime songs all the time with my brother, as well as a plethora of other classics, like, The Red Hot Chili Peppers, Ween, Weezer, Jimi Hendrix and much more. I learned how to sing listening to most of these things, my brother is largely the reason I sought to learn how to sing, he was always like a super hero to me and I wanted to be just like him. I think the competitive nature we had prevented him from empowering me to learn my voice. 

We moved to Arizona after we went on a long family trip to Vegas and AZ, it was one of the most mesmerizing experiences, I had ever had. I remember flying over the grand canyon on the way there, and arriving to stay at the Venetian in Vegas, with all of the buskers outside putting on performances, the hot dry air, and then walking through the casino to get to the main area, looking up and seeing the most amazing art replicas on the ceiling, and they had a stream through the middle of the hotel with boats going down it, just like in Venice! The room was the biggest hotel room, I had ever seen. We rented a car and saw the Hoover Dam, it was mind bogglingly huge and a record temp outside at the time of about 117F. Aunt Marlene and Uncle Bob had us stay with them out in the country in Prescott, AZ, and we saw the Grand Canyon for the first time. I was completely breathless at the experience! I had never seen anything like this, and I had never been so inspired by a place; I didn’t want to leave and my mom felt the same way. 

About a year later, we were in a moving truck headed for Flagstaff, AZ, where my dad had moved us. I remember things had already been rough between my parents for quite some time and my father had an amazing job in Indiana and was making lots of money and had a stable place for his family in every area, except emotionally, non of us liked the community we were in and none of us felt safe in any way in that living situation. I was incredibly glad we were leaving, there was a lot of bad memories there, especially being that their marriage was on the rocks. When we got to AZ, my brother went off and ran away and got arrested and put on probation and was made to go to AA. I was 12 and followed his example, by stealing things, yelling at people, drinking, and acting out my pain in varying, attention seeking ways. I felt like they were giving all of the attention to my brother, so I didn’t know how to get love and affection from them anymore; I felt so lost and alone. I had no-one I trusted and it seemed like they just wanted to throw my brother away in many ways. 

I remember having a relatively traumatic childhood and life in general. I never really felt safe after a certain age, I think 6, I just wanted to have a normal home, I didn’t like my life. My parents finally split up, which was a relief, but I had wished it had come much sooner than it did. I simultaneously started acting wild, right along side of my brother. I lost my virginity and started drinking a lot, and I remember when it happened my mom and dad found out. I remember the most traumatic thing, I ever experienced in my entire life, was having a police officer drive me home when I was drunk at the age of 12, and my parents told the officer to simply take me away. I completely shut down to the world around me. I was crying out in pain and my parents were so emotionally disconnected and overwhelmed, they couldn’t hear them at the time. It ended up with me being abused and locked away for the majority of my teen years. 

At the age of 14, I had, had quite a run with the law, going to AA, doing community service, having a 5:30 curfew every day or facing jail time. It was clear to me, I had no freedom on any level. I was imprisoned by my traumas, and literally by the Juvenile detention center. My father had left to Indiana and had seemingly abandoned me, and I hated him. He came out to visit for my 14th birthday, took me to get a haircut, got me a TV, Playstation 2, laptop, and a guitar; Out of all of those gifts, the acoustic guitar is the one still sitting beside me in my room today as I write this. I instantly wanted to know more about it. I had always wanted to learn the way Tony Iommi made all those wild sounds on the guitar. I remember wanting so badly to make the sounds that brought me comfort for so many years, music was the only thing that brought me peace and made me feel at home. 

I picked it up and seemingly didn’t put it back down. I played anywhere between 6 and 9 hours a day, it took me away from the world being a lonely and cruel place, it brightened the days and gave expression to feelings, I did’n’t have words for. I instantaneously felt a drive and a passion within, a purpose, a new calling, something that gave my life meaning. I wanted nothing more than to learn everything there was to know about music. I had been around support groups with my family and for myself for a long time, my childhood was so confusing and scary. All of these hard facts of my existence where instantaneously made bearable and my musical taste diversified, because I had a thirst, a craving to learn more, to hear more. All of the sudden, I wanted bigger speakers and amps and instruments, I wanted to be surrounded by it. I wanted to make the most impactful, beautiful and mesmerizing soundscapes. I envisioned myself running across the tops of clouds, looking out at beautiful scenery, encapsulating my experience in a bubble of frequency that sets memories free every time its played. A song that soothes in a hard time, a song that livens when I am feeling slightly tired, songs that truly help me to focus on my studies, songs that made me think about the way of the world. The world of music was so broad roomy and all inclusive and the best part about it, was, it was ok to be me, even if that wasn’t ok with you. It seemed the whole world told me, its not ok to be me and music didn’t, music had no expectation, just acceptance of all things. 

I had an outlet that finally allowed me some personal freedom and control it seemed. I practiced vigorously and loved every second of discovery I experienced. I began to research artists, I wanted to hear the best of the best, those who had put the most effort into their work to make the most appealing melodies you could make. I began comparing tunes and categorizing, opening myself up to tunes that maybe I had previously been closed minded to, and it helped give me a sense of identity and purpose, finding the combinations in composition that were relatable on a visceral level. I was am and will always be grateful for this. 

The world of music took on a continuous bloom in front of me, every song on the radio, every fact, every inflection, I needed to learn, and I began seeing the soothing qualities it had on others, especially the more I started to seek spiritual principles and philosophies, that supported this idea. I started finding all of this cool info, like singing together synchronizes heart beats, our hearts emit a 6ft electromagnetic field around us, we have pyramid neurons that interact with electromagnetic frequencies outside of our physical bodies that can be seen with the use of a Magnetoencephalagraph, and its a drug! Listening to music releases dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin, which work with our endocrine system to invigorate our senses on every level. I was always diagnosed ADHD as a kid and I used music as a stimulant, coupled with physical exercise to help me focus in a lot of different areas. When I was at work at a job, if I was able to listen to headphones, my efficiency doubled, and if they took the headphone privilege away, my energy levels diminished immensely; I found out later, there was a scientific reason for this, because of the way the sound waves are interpreted by the brain and turned into an energetic, euphoric, neurochemical cocktail that enhanced every aspect of life in general. 

I made this blog to continue my research and journey of discovery, while sharing parts of my experience that taught me something new, and gave me new tools to live with. I don’t have enough words to express the level of appreciation I have for music and what it has done for me. 

Thank you all for sharing this journey with me and reading my blog. I genuinely hope I can be of service and hopefully help someone with my experience. If you all have any questions, comments or shout outs, leave them in the comment section! PEACE!! 

Demon Below The Sea

I wrote this song in 2013 feeling some very deep grief for a lot of friends and family I had lost to death, via cancer, car accident, etc. I found music to be one of the only things I could turn to as a sure fire way to be fully present in what seemed to be unbearable pain. It enabled me to take those emotions, which seemed insurmountable, and feel them completely. I was able to sit in silence after and grieve. This version is a completely improv performance captured with a galaxy S5. I hope this song will bring light in to your life as much as it did mine.
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